Whoever designed this child-proof packaging is an asshole.

Submitted by Laurel Hermanson:

Do you want that pill? Do you NEED that pill? Too bad, SUCKA!

All parents eventually realize that their singular mission is to keep their child(ren) alive. So I suppose childproof packaging of over-the-counter drugs is a nifty idea. We certainly can’t trust mommies and daddies to be cautious enough. Consider, for example, the warning labels on plastic bags:

“Keep this bag away from babies and children. Do not use in cribs, beds, carriages or playpens. The thin film may cling to nose and mouth and prevent breathing.”

I’ll bet most parents welcome this warning, because who knew being able to breathe is crucial to the survival of the wee ones?

Similarly, breeders cannot be trusted to keep deadly pills out of reach of those tiny, curious fingers. Thus, drug manufacturers have wisely taken the matter out of adult hands and created packaging that is maddeningly inaccessible to… adult hands.

When you’re really sick, your fingers might be almost as nimble as a four-year-old’s. You shake. You’ve chewed your nails to the skin. Who will help you peel back that elusive paper corner now? Ask your kid. And offer them a dollar or two.

NOTE: This annoying packaging predates the widespread methamphetamine abuse that robbed us of guilt-free sinus relief offered by glorious pseudoephedrine.

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