[Bad Copywriting Edition] Whoever wrote this Athleta catalog copy is an asshole.

Whoever designed wrote this Athleta catalog copy is an asshole:

“Power to the She”

Although she would look good in a pair of Winkers.

Hangin' out with my gal pals!

And that’s just a taste of what’s to come. The inside cover page features these inspirational words of wisdom (click the image above to enlarge):

“Maybe it’s the added x.

That makes us so utterly capable.

Awesome at our jobs, there for our gal pals, on time with our birthday cards, ready to turn the world upside down to try something new, and completely gaga for getting out and working out.

There’s a perfect balance in this happy, crazy pace of life.

We get it because we’ve been women all our lives.

So our designs live up to our own outrageous demands.

No sacrifices, no apologies.

Power to the She.

————————————-

Okay, let me have a go at this:

“Maybe its the associate’s degree.

That makes us so utterly mediocre.

Unimaginative in our jobs, using phrases like “gal pals,” prone to Hallmark-esque platitudes, ready to go along with the status quo to try something totally clichéd, and completely googoo for watching “Keeping up with the Kardashians” while eating a pint of Ben & Jerry’s on the couch.

Calgon, take me away.

We get it because first we were girls, and then we hit puberty and grew breasts and started menstruating, at which point we were technically women.

So our designs pretend to be outrageous, to meet the demands of our asshole colleagues in marketing.

All compromises, all regrets.

Power to the Sheeple.”

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8 comments
    • CO said:

      That’s pretty hilarious, but I think it’s meant to be a joke. Therefore, the designer is a genius.

  1. A-maz-ing. Makes me wonder if the writer was even a woman. Or, if it’s possible for a woman to be a misogynist. (Aren’t they the ones who “have a passion for marketing to women.”)

    • CO said:

      Misogynist women are legion, sadly. I heard one conservative Iowa Lady Voter © on NPR last week saying she couldn’t vote for Michelle Bachmann because women aren’t meant to be leaders. *That’s* why you wouldn’t vote for her?!

  2. 1st episode of this season’s Portlandia features a book called “S/he.”

  3. This is the equivalent of ‘reply stalking.’

    Your translation of the copy made me blow snot out my nose. Which, due to my current mucus level, was considerable (thus rendering my Thunderbolt display in need of a good squeegeeing).

    • CO said:

      A most humble thank you, Flu-boy.

  4. heatherkh said:

    In that I am constantly flaking on my (ahem) gal pals and never on time with birthday cards, I shall inspect my knickers for external equipment forthwith.

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